There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
