I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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