I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
