Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Sponge bath it is.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
