hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
