Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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