Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
