i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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