I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
