Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
