nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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