I wannas sexs uuuuu
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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