I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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