Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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