Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
