He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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