Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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