I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
