I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
