I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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