I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
im six kinds of drunk right now
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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