well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Help. Why am I so naked?
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