ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize