You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
