What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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