I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Michael Bay diarrhea
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
