Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
