I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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