...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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