Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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