after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize