She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
