Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
