so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
