They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
