dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
