i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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