with your own penis?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
