I like to think it a success when the cops are called
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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