She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
