i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
