I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize