I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
