if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He shit in the fireplace
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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