I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
