billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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