Just fell off a train. Bad.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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