he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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