just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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