I'd wear matching sweaters with you
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
two words: eviction party
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
