i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
