So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
