I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
