I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
