Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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