literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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